Doors

Following the first step of actually creating my blog, I’ve found myself faced with a new challenge: what to write about next. Progress is never-ending. Thankfully, there always seems to be a new theme with each week I’m here. The lesson this week, it seems, is that when one door closes, another opens. 

My work schedule in Spain is from Monday to Wednesday. Initially, three days of work and four days off was unfathomable with an ingrained US hustle culture mentality. It felt as if not working much was, in a way, a door closing on the potential to earn more money. Or even, the opportunity to connect with my school as much as possible. Now, while it remains sometimes difficult, I’ve learned to see the time away from work as a different door. An opening to strengthen my hobbies, connections, and perspectives. I’ve taken to utilizing my Thursdays and Fridays to write and read at a cafe. To improve my Spanish with books from the library, or to sip on cafe con leche with a friend. All things that don’t earn me money per se, but they do give me something priceless. 

Just when I was beginning to see my free days through this more positive mindset, I was met with other instances teaching me the same lesson. I guess the world wanted me to get the message. For instance, my friend, Brynn, and I have been planning a trip during spring break. Having a little over a week off, we wanted to maximize the time to see three different places: Berlin, Prague, and Zurich. But once we began searching, the euro signs started adding up and our hopes began dwindling. Feeling incredibly dismayed, we scratched the trip. That door was closed. We began joking about ditching everything and going to Greece…only to realize, why don’t we go to Greece?? Now, we have our tickets booked and I couldn’t be more excited! Without the first door closing, we wouldn’t have even seen the second one open. 

Brynn & I

Recently, I had been speaking with my teacher, Patry, about needing to better understand Spanish grammar. She enthusiastically shared she had a book she could lend me. I felt relieved. I wouldn’t have to buy one myself and struggle with the process of finding one that works. The next day, though, she told me she failed to find it. I was disappointed, but not upset. It was kind for her to even offer. However, that afternoon, she went from classroom to classroom asking other teachers if they had resources I could utilize. And sure enough, I walked home that day with three Spanish grammar books in my arms. Not only was I blown away by the kindness and determination Patry displayed, but I was reminded once again that one opportunity falling short does not mean all other options disappear. 

One of the things I quickly became involved with in Santander is kickboxing. I’d never done it before, but it’s easily become something I love. I go every week, more than once, and the gym is beginning to feel like a community for me. About two weeks before Christmas break, I met Sylvia during a kickboxing session. Sylvia is from Stuttgart, Germany, but was in Santander to complete her master’s degree. I swiftly considered her a friend and enjoyed getting coffee with her or attending the same kickboxing class. However, this last week, Sylvia’s program ended and she returned home. I’m so excited for her to be back with family, as I know she was looking forward to it, but I was selfishly sad to see my friend leave. 

On the day of our last coffee meet-up, I arrived at the cafe early to work on things. After maybe an hour, two girls walked in and began speaking in English -- not a often occurrence in Northern Spain. They sat right next to me, and I just couldn’t help but introduce myself. Turns out, one of the girls is from Turkey, and the other is from California. We chatted for about 45 minutes then collectively went back to work, but not before I grabbed both their contact information! It felt too fated - as I was about to say goodbye to my first friend here, I met two more. I don’t think of Sylvia returning home as a door closing, because I fully intend to maintain that connection as much as I can. But our time together in Santander has undoubtedly come to an end. While that makes me sad, our goodbye coffee led to more friendships. One door closes and another opens.

Maybe none of these experiences are connected, and I’m simply over-romanticizing a simple situation of chance. Or perhaps they’re all tied together in a way that I can’t fully understand.

Enjoying the sun in San Sebastian

While abroad, I consistently find myself drawn more to the idea that things happen for a reason. I felt that pull in Zambezi, Madrid, and now Santander. I don’t know if it’s due to all the emotions I feel while in another place, or from the connections I make with others despite differences in culture and language. Seeing the purest emotions of humanity displayed around me gives me goosebumps in the best way, and it often reminds me that people experience the same things all over the world. We’re all human. It also tells me I’m where I’m meant to be right now. It’s that feeling of reassurance that sways me to believe that things do happen for a reason. Whether that’s true or not, no one can truly know while they’re on this earth. However, it’s hard for me to have instances such as those from this last week, and not believe that they are connected somehow. 

With life constantly changing around us, I think it’s easy to become disheartened by the things we no longer have. However, we can’t let our sadness of what was, blind us from what could be. In the past, I have definitely been one to force something I think is right rather than taking a step back and finding the other option. While I appreciate my attempts to push through, it wasn’t always necessary and it made me miss out on something else. With that said, while my examples from this week may seem small to others, they are significant to me. I was being reminded to handle non-ideal situations with an open mind, rather than with naive stubbornness. Thankfully, I was able to approach each situation in a more mature way than my past self would have -- a feat within itself! But of course, growth is never-ending. I hope to continue finding the open door rather than forcing my way through the locked ones.